Do You Know the Duffin Man?

1 Aug

It sits inconspicuously among the baked goods. From afar, it’s just another lumpy sweet something made with sugar and flour. When you get up close you realize – it’s a muffin. No!  It’s a donut muffin. What do we call this? The sign on the bin says muffin/donut – but it can’t be BOTH things! This adorable food mutant must have an annoyingly cute moniker! How about monut? I prefer duffin. Let’s go with duffin. Yes. We shall call it duffin.


I know what you’re thinking. Is this the new cronut? (Surely if you’re accessing this blog from the world wide web you know what a cronut is. If not, read up. But also, just use your common sense – it’s a croissant/donut. Duh.) I’m not sure that this is of cronut caliber. The cronut craze has been sweeping the nation – in the last day even Dunkin’ Donuts announced it’d start selling some cheap, probably crappy ass version of the elitist $5 pastry hybrid (Which it’s calling a “New York Pie Donut” and is only being sold in South Korea. Seriously). The duffin is not a major food craze – yet. It’s a simple muffin that, as opposed to having a fruit or other flavoring sprinkled throughout, is coated in (fried in?) that sugary spice that coats plain or sugar donuts.

It’s quite good, but I’d say it’s more breakfast-like than hits-the-spot-when-you-crave-sweet-baked-goods-like. Mixing a donut with pretty much anything is awesome in theory, but the execution is not always amazing.

Like that time I went to brunch at The Mad Hatter in DC’s Dupont Circle  and tried the “Best Breakfast Sandwich Ever” – a breakfast sandwich with eggs and cheese and sausage or bacon (I chose bacon) between not one- but TWO full-size glazed Krispy Kreme donuts. Don’t judge. I had downed several mimosas and thought it was the best dish of my life, but looking back (and imagining biting into all of those flavors at once) I shudder to think that I ate that. All of that. Even the potatoes.

Breakfast sandwich crop

Anyway, back to the duffin. The fact that it’s a “thing” makes me wonder about other food hybrids, and whether they can all be awesome.

First thing that comes to mind? Coronarita. Yep – a margarita with that special plastic contraption that holds the baby Corona bottle upside down as the beer slowly fills your dinner plate-sized margarita glass. That’s a good combo – beer, tequila, sugary mix, with the help of gravity – nothing wrong with that!

I’ve also seen lots of guacamole and salsa combinations at the grocery store as of late. Guaca Salsa is what Trader Joe’s calls its brand, and that’s a great combination when you can’t really decide on one dip for your chip. Plus it’d go perfectly with a bowl of chips and a Coronarita, so it’s a win-win!

Sounds like food hybrids are where it’s at! But then I Googled “food hybrids” and saw this article. Sad face. Pork and pickles are great on their own, but a hollowed out pickle filled with pork? No thanks. And you call it a porckle? This is weird.

The list only gets worse! There’s a “tini weenie,” a martini + a cocktail wiener instead of a pearl onion (I have a hard enough time with vegetables in my drinks – think I will skip the meat). And something called Ketcharacha???  Why would you ruin perfectly good sriracha with ketchup? Or vice versa? These are just bad, bad ideas I wish I never stumbled upon. I feel dirty for having looked at these.

Okay, okay, I think I got myself in too deep. I liked the duffin a lot, but I’d be fine never having one again. Haven’t yet tried a cronut but you know what? I’m totally okay with that. I don’t need it! I can stick with either Corona OR a margarita – maybe I don’t need them both in one glass. And guac! I always choose guac over salsa; that is a NO BRAINER!

So…fine. Maybe you can’t have it all for a reason. Maybe you should be forced to make some decisions in your life and not expect all of the things you love to eat to magically merge into one greater hybrid thing. But then again, this is America. Land of the cronut, and the duffin, and even the porckle. Something for everyone, I guess!

One Response to “Do You Know the Duffin Man?”

  1. lily lubin August 1, 2013 at 1:28 pm #

    I strongly believe that one day someone “important” will recognized your talent!

    Sent from my iPad

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